HOME GALLERY ACT ABOUT SHARE FIND RESOURCES

Trans man + Proud

Click here to participate

(He/Him/His, They/Them/Theirs)

The first few years I was in community with other trans folks and working out my own gender identity most of the transmasc narratives I encountered came out of Black or white contexts. While I felt inspired and had many resonances with these stories 'being a man' was presented in a fairly binary way that wasn't consistent with my experience and couldn't quite be mapped neatly onto my ethnicities. It wasn't until I saw a documentary film called Kumu Hina in 2014 that tells the story of Hina Wong-Kalu a native Hawaiian teacher and cultural practitioner who is māhū a word that translates to "middle" that I began to believe that there was a culturally specific and possible path for me to realize and embrace manhood. It would take a few more years to identify the ways I wanted to embody that but learning about Hina's story and her work was certainly a watershed moment in 'becoming' for me.

(They/Them/Theirs, He/Him/His)

The first time I knew I was going to be ok as a trans man was when I came out to friends in high school, and they supported me.

(He/Him/His, They/Them/Theirs)

I began to explore understanding how to feel more present in my body on a day to day basis.

As a young teen, I started to figure out something wasn't right, but I couldn't figure out what. At 20, I figured out something wasn't wrong... I just hadn't figured out what was right for me yet. I followed trans creators but never realized that that could be me, too; that there was no difference between us. I saw myself then as being a man in the future.

When I first realized I was a trans man, I was a sophomore in highschool. I grew up in the South so acceptance was somewhat hard to come by. As I was coming to terms with what my transition meant to me, I distinctly remember having a dream where I was a few years older and just recently had top surgery. The gender euphoria I felt when I looked in the mirror in that dream and saw the bandages over a flat chest was indescribable. In that moment, I knew it was possible for me to live a healthy, genuine life as myself and as a trans man. I haven't looked back since!

I was closeted still and attending college. I had a biology-related course where my professor was transgender. My professor was the first openly transgender person I had met in my life. They had transitioned a little later in life but had continued onwards holding a wonderful career and genuinely just being an excellent mentor and teacher. It was a slow realization over the course of the two semesters I attended their class but I began truly making plans for my future instead of assuming I would succumb to my fairly serious depression and other mental health issues. It all finally became clear to me when I had transferred to a university and I decided to cut my hair and wear a binder for the first time. I put on my favorite shirt and cried when I finally saw myself and that I was going to make it.

When I first did all of my research and realized that I am a trans man.

For me it wasn't a grand event. I believe I was in the 6th grade at the time so I was no older than 13. All I remember is talking with an online friend over Skype who explained that they were transgender and told me about what that was like. As I was listening to them I realized that I was too and accepted it instantly. I've been identifying as male ever since and was always excited at the prospect of becoming a transman. I still haven't begun transitioning but I look forward to it every day.

I went to an all-women's college for undergrad. During those four years, my masculine identity was cultivated and nurtured by a community of queer women. Leaving college, I found myself having to make concessions for my masculinity in a female presenting body. I'd gone four years without having to explain my masculinity to others. It just was. But I had to live in this world, in this life of constant contradiction between who I saw myself to be and who the world wanted me to be. Transitioning both physically and emotionally, allowed me to take a strong, life long stand to maintain and continue to grow in my masculine identity. Now, it's no question. I'm a masculine transman and society has to grabble with that, not me.

The first time I ever imagined having a future as a transgender man was actually the first moment I witnessed my mother imagining that future for me. She had really struggled with my coming outshe was convinced that I was making a choice that would prevent me from having a future at all. Then she came to visit me while I was in performing arts school. I had transitioned while in school and was living as a man for the first time in my life. Everyone in the school community knew and respected my identity as both trans and a man. I was performing in Beauty and the Beast and my mother was in the audience. After we took our final bows and changed into our street clothes my peers and teachers and I (all of whom were in the show) poured out of the stage doors. We were riding the adrenaline high of completing a successful performance and were all giddy with excitement. I saw my mom in the crowd and quickly introduced her to my school community. Other students and our instructors all gushed to my mom telling them what a great performer and man I was. We all love having him in class, one of my teachers told her. "You must be so proud." I've asked her about this moment and she doesn't remember it. But I saw a profound shift in her eyes right then. It was like she could finally see a future for me that wasn't isolated or dangerousit was bold and bright and full of love and happiness and community. I've worked so hard to live up to that future she saw in that moment and I think I've succeeded.

I was 18, just shy of a month away from graduating high school. I had been out as trans for about 2 years at this point. I was feeling a lot of things…hopeful, hopeless, worried, brave, careless. I struggled to accept my identity and cope with discrimination. I was a scared kid – 18, but still a kid. My therapist was helping me juggle all the conflicting emotions and to make sense of it all. I knew that I wanted to start T. We located an LGBTQ+ clinic about 2 hours away where I could be evaluated for HRT; something I wanted so badly.

A few weeks later, I was on a train heading into the city for my first appointment, and to my first HRT prescription. I remembered feeling anxious, then overwhelmed with hope and excitement for the first time in a very long, long time. I pictured my future self; what would he look like? Would he have a beard? A gruff voice? Would a change of name come next, or perhaps a look into top surgery? The possibilities finally felt endless. I could see the future; my future as a happy, resilient, transgender man, and I wasn’t scared anymore.

It was following an interaction with a stranger on an elevator my second year on testosterone. We rode up 26 floors in silence. As I was exiting the elevator he said take it easy, brother. It struck me in that moment that I was for all intents and purposes just a dude which felt exceedingly validating.

2016 when I finally understood why my relationships didn't make sense to me, and I met a trans man who helped me see the value and potential of living suthentucslly

I didn't realize I was trans until I was around college age I didn't have the language prior to know that was a possibility. But I started slow as a young adult with changing my name changing my pronouns and my friends all supported me 100%. But it solidified for me when I went to the trans wellness conference in Philadelphia and saw so many different types of people all exisiting and in an affirming envornment. It really confirmed that I could have this life if I took the first steps.

(He/Him/His, They/Them/Theirs)

I was so uncomfortable in my own skin for 25 years before I figured it out. Why did I always want to be a boy? I was in the military for a short time before a foot injury led to being discharged, but I'm thankful for that experience because I met the person who helped me kick-start my coming out and transitioning. I saw him taking the steps to become his authentic self, and it was then I realized that I could do the same. So I took the first step. This was almost 7 years ago now. Don't give up.

When I bought my first binder and could somewhat minimize the "chest of doom." I was overjoyed at seeing that version of myself in the mirror.

(He/Him/His, They/Them/Theirs)

When I started joining online transmasc spaces, I started seeing these older transmascs/trans men in their forties, fifties, sixties — there was one man who had started T at 63, I think, and it brought tears to my eyes to know I could grow up to be the old man I dreamed of.

I knew I was different as a kid but I never saw my future as a trans man until I was 30 y/o and I decided to escape my abusive marriage and live my truth.

(He/Him/His, They/Them/Theirs)

My first major opportunity transgender artist was at LA Pride and surpassed anything I had experienced before. Previously, I had only performed at small clubs, so playing to such a massive crowd was a completely new and exhilarating experience. As I stood on stage, I witnessed people genuinely connecting with the music I had crafted in my bedroom and the dance routine we had practiced in a parking lot. In that transformative moment, I realized that I wanted to aspire for more, not just for myself but for all trans masculine individuals. I understood the importance of breaking free from limiting beliefs and recognizing that we are capable of achieving remarkable things.

When I saw the logo I had created displayed on a gigantic 20 ft screen, memories of my childhood flooded my mind. I recalled the pain and struggles I endured during that period of my life. Reflecting on those challenging moments, I wished I could have shared with my younger self the incredible progress that has been made since then. In the past, we walked in darkness without any representation in the mainstream. But now, there are opportunities and visibility for individuals like us that we could only dream of back then.

This question is wild because before I transitioned to live authentically I legitimately never had a vision of my future self. Once I was about two years into my medical transition I saw myself in the mirror and the world stopped for a moment because I felt a wave of alignment and peace take over me. Now I'm teaching myself that I can have whatever future I create and I'm not limited to loneliness.

Jess VonderHaar

(They/Them/Theirs, He/Him/His)

Growing up, I remember having girl crushes long before I even knew what gay was. I’d often play the “man role” when friends and I would play “house.” As time went on, a problem was presented. I would have crushes on girls who had crushes on boys. I was confused! Why couldn’t they like me? Why were they only attracted to boys? Around 2nd grade, I would have dreams of girl I was crushing on, except in my dreams, I was able to present like a boy! I would get the girl, wake up, only to face the music. Even though I wouldn’t find testosterone until much later on in life, I’ll never forget how I’ve always felt from day one. I didn’t know a life like the one I have was possible, until I saw a Trans Man/ Trans Masc human for the first time.

The first moment I could see my future as a trans man was as a kid running around the house shirtless and being told I must wear a shirt. I still feel that joy and freedom of being shirtless to this day.

I think the first moment I could see my future as a transman is an expansive question. Maybe, it could have been my first interaction with a fellow queer person, the first name I picked, my first trans rights rally, or my first T shot. All have left different and expansive feelings. But, they all gave me hope that I was being me again.

The first moment I saw myself as a trans man is when I saw The Phantom from Phantom of the opera. He described my bipolar and schizophrenia so well. I named myself after him. Erik is alive.

(He/Him/His, They/Them/Theirs)

The first moment I could see my future as a trans man was when I met an openly trans man for the first time in my twenties. Here was someone who was just living his life and who happened to be a trans man. I remember feeling so hopeful in that moment. Years later I am still grateful for that brief encounter because it ultimately helped me to find the strength to transition.

When I was in high school, I discovered various trans Youtubers like Ty Turner and Sam Collins who opened my mind to the fact that transitioning was possible.

If I had known at the time I was supposed to remember it I would have.

I worked as a teacher at a queer camp and felt so much possibility from the youth I was working with - it allowed me to stop telling myself no and envision a life of expansion.

It was when I met other trans men in Yahoo! groups 15 years ago. I thought I was the only one on the planet then I met hundreds of other trans men. Community and representation saved my life.

I first saw my future as a trans man when watching videos of a Greek composer named "Yianni" in the 1990s. I liked the way Yianni dressed and I wanted to be like him when I grew up. As the years went by, I also looked to the trans men I saw featured in OP Magazine as role models for my transition.

(They/Them/Theirs, He/Him/His)

The moment was when I saw a teen cosmo magazine cover where it said “ I used to be a girl “ and the person on the cover had began their transition, their name was lace and I had to contact this person no matter what, and I did, this was when I first heard the term “transgender “ and lace was kind enough to guide me through the steps i needed to take to get where they were at that moment. I grew up with a lot of challenges and setbacks, but as soon as I began to address my needs the desire to be numb and escape slowly subsided.

(He/Him/His, They/Them/Theirs)

I knew I could envision transitioning the first day I wore a chest binder.

The first moment I could see my future as a transman I was 17 and had gone to my first LGBTQ center. I remember my best friend coming with me and asking all of the questions I was afraid to ask. I had never had anyone affirm the feelings I had and help me to understand what my trans identity truly was until that day. Having my best friend there for support really gave me the confidence I needed to fully live in my truth.

I had a buddy of mine over dinner casually say "yeah I think you're trans". I had never even thought that was a possibility. I knew I didn't feel female. But I didn't know I could be a male.

I hadn't even told anyone that I was starting to think that I was trans at 21 years old. I went to an American Eagle outlet store and dared to grab two t-shirts and two pairs of jeans from the guy's section--my first time ever being brave enough to shop on the other side of the store. When I tried them on in the dressing room and saw myself in the mirror dressed as a boy for the first time it was like years of crushing depression and angst just floated away--I didn't see a specific future for myself but I did finally see the potential to have a future.

i was 13 when i realized i was trans. i did not come out to family, i was outed when i was 15. my maternal grandfather told me he'd always support me no matter what, even if the rest of the family didn't (luckily, it was only my mother and father who didn't). that one act of support made me hopeful. he took me shopping for men's clothes that winter when he visited. it really meant a lot to me.

Finding out that trans people existed.

When I was coming out I wasn't sure there would be a future for me as a trans man. I remember seeing Original Plumbing magazine and seeing Rocco and Amos and realizing that I may be able to live a happy successful life and make a difference simply by living my truth. Exposure to Kylar Broadus Jamison Green Shannon Minter and Lou Sullivan gave me a new perspective and showed me that it was possible to have a future as a trans man.

His name was Steve Dain. It was 1976. He was on television being interviewed about fighting to keep his teaching job because he had transitioned from female to male. The year prior he had been named California's Teacher of the Year. But he was calm self-confident articulate and so clear about who he was as a man. And at that moment I knew it was possible: I too could become the man I knew I was.

(He/Him/His, They/Them/Theirs)

The first time I could see my future as trans was when I was a young kid on the playground and then my early twenties. I didn't transition until my mid twenties.

(He/Him/His, They/Them/Theirs)

Before bed one night when I was cat-sitting for a friend and was alone in their apartment, I connected to my higher self. I shared with them that I was in a space where I could start healing. I requested content withheld from me (traumas, discoveries, learnings) to please be revealed, so I could start working with it.

I went to bed as a nonbinary person. I woke up the next day with some stark realizations, realizations that my gender was FAR more masculine than I had been aware of until this point.

I suddenly realized I needed to consider getting top surgery, look up the process for changing my name (I had a feminine-presenting name at the time), add he/him to my pronouns, and that as soon as I got home I needed to donate some clothing that no longer represented me.

It became clear that if I was going to be true to myself and progress spiritually, I needed to make some uncomfortable decisions that my family and friends might not initially understand- in order to become visibly transmasculine.

I was complimented as a female and didn’t like being called/seen in a feminine way

I was in the shower when I realized I don't have to be a woman if I don't want to. I started my gender journey and down the road, my two best friends (one a trans woman and one a cis man) started using "he" pronouns before I even thought about it. I thought "Hmmm, I like that."

The first time I passed in public even when I wasn't binding. It was like, "holy shit, I am Man!!!!" Suddenly I could see myself as who I was in my career, with my found family, and eventually growing old into some ornery grandpa for queer kids who, like me, don't have contact with their family of origin.

Going from an all women's college to a co-ed college.

I didn't know when this incident happened that transitioning to male was an option. It took 9 years before I found that out. But I was leaving a fast food place with my brother and I held a door open for an older gentleman and he said "thank you sir". And that just made me smile so much. I thought about that moment for years. 9 years later I helped my then partner transition and that's when all these repressed feelings came out and when I found out that being a man was possible.

When I started testosterone.

I was 3 years old when I knew I was different. I had an old brother and 3 old cousin. I looked up to them and my dad so much. I wanted to me strong like them, look like them. I felt like my body wasn't right. I came out as a lesbian at 13 and was out with my family. At age 22 I went to a local bar in little rock arkansas and I met a trans drag king abs Hart and he changed my world. I got to see first hand I could live my authentic life. So I took my own leap of faith, came out as trans to my family and made everything happen for me with amazing family support.

Even though I came out in highschool, I truly saw my future when I was able to get on t-shots. Medically transitioning had a lot of bumps for me, and getting to finally see the changes I wanted to see was euphoric. It really helped me envision what the rest of my life would look like, where I could be seen how I am.

Ovaettr AKA Orion Fern

(Xe/Xem/Xyr, They/Them/Theirs, He/Him/His)

When I found the first things mentioning nonbinary gender(s) and/or lack thereof on Tumblr in 2010, and learned, being educated by the community who generously shared so much. I finally found people who had the same experiences as me and were at odds with "being a girl/woman." I wasn't alone? And it had an explanation. I found myself in those blog posts, shimmering like a mirror to a future I could finally behold. I came out to myself in 2012, and out to the public in 2014 as a genderqueer trans masculine person / nonbinary before finding i was also a trans man by around 2016.

(They/Them/Theirs, He/Him/His)

The first time I saw a future for me as a trans man was when I met a real trans adult. This transmasc person became like a father to me and he was pivotal to when my life was revitalized after starting my journey with gender affirming care. Trans visibility is core to trans futures.

I went to a camp where you could choose a nickname to go by for the week. I chose a guy name, everyone called me by it, and that was the first time I thought “maybe I could really do this”.

My local community has supported me through both social and medical transition since I came out at 14. Not long after starting HRT, my endocrinologist informed me that she was being transferred out of state. Turns out she was going to the same city where I was moving for college! I was grateful to continue care with her. Now that I have moved back to my home state, she has helped me find doctors around me to ensure I continue to get the care I need as an adult trans person.

I never saw my future as a trans man. I saw my future as a man.

When I first left my home country where it's a criminal offense to be queer/trans with more emerging bills limiting our existence & presentation.

I had a conversation with my partner.

I first saw my future as a trans man when I met a trans man in person who was a few years older than me. I transitioned before social media in 2008/2009. I didn't even really know there were people who felt like me out there. When I was introduced to a 20-something trans man who had a girlfriend, a good job, lived in his own apartment it opened my eyes to understanding that I could be happy, I could be successful and I could be loved as the trans man I am.

(They/Them/Theirs, He/Him/His)

My high school English teacher assigned my class an article about Rocco Kayiatos who went by Katastrophe at the time. I didn’t have language for my transness yet, I wasn’t even out to myself as trans. But something about my teacher seeing something beautiful and valuable in Rocco helped me see it in myself as a young queer person. Rocco and I met later on in college and we’re still in touch to this day. His existence and survival has been a rare glimmer of what my future could look like and I’m grateful to be aging alongside him.

There was no representation for trans men in my life until 10 years ago or so. As a child I never saw my life as any role that pertains to most cisgender females. As a child I viewed myself as male. It wasn't until I discovered a trans men community on YouTube. I relayed to most of the stories. I used to believe this ideology that I'm trapped in the wrong body. However as of late I realized I was born transgender. There was no trauma related incident or experience that has led me to this point this is who I've always been.

(He/Him/His, They/Them/Theirs)

I had a session with my healer who had me go DEEP. She shared with me that as young as the third trimester in the womb of my mother I made the choice to be born female at birth to become a trans non-binary man. That's when I knew the truth. Before that I was going back and forth and denying or doubting. From that moment onwards when I connected to the fetus version of myself I knew for sure I am a non-binary trans man.

I've always had a really low voice, baritone. Long before I did drag, I did community theater. One play, they needed another male part and chose me because they didn't have any available men to perform. I bound my chest, glued on a mustache along with my usual stage make up and left for the play. I had to stop at Walmart to pick something up and the lady at the cash register said, "Thank you sir." It felt so good to hear that word, "sir." I could actually see myself someday, making it there.

It was the decision to leap into the unknown of it all. That was the first moment I chose myself and that choice was also about choosing to chart my own future. I saw something out there that wasn’t necessarily clearly defined but it was more in focus than anything I’d seen for myself before.

The first time I verbalized I was a man was at the age of 4 and I expressed it to my family. I decided to go for it in my late 30's.

(He/Him/His, Any pronouns)

I like to say that I transitioned before Laverne Cox was on the cover of TIME magazine, and before Caitlyn made her Vogue cover-- in other words, before the Trans Tipping Point. (=And let's just say it: the transmasculine tipping point hasn't happened yet.) I was fortunate enough to meet two trans men in an activist group (helping Survivors of Sexualized Violence) and, through their openness and vulnerability, I was able to envision a path for myself.

I googled if it was possible for a female to become a male in 2011 and found a YouTube video of a famous trans man and that's when I realized it was possible for me.

(He/Him/His, They/Them/Theirs)

When I got my first binder when I was 19. I went off to college and could finally express myself without the judgment from my family.

(He/Him/His, They/Them/Theirs)

The first time I saw my future as a trans man was the first time I saw a future for myself at all. I was a pre teen early 2010's and I saw a video from the first ever trans man I'd ever seen. He was a cosplayer in a fandom I was a part of and he was so excited to start hormones. Not only was it the first trans person I knew I'd seen but it was the first person who was an adult who was living a life I wanted.

(He/Him/His, They/Them/Theirs)

I was on a run around the Silver Lake Reservoir. I was so shaken by a realization that I had to stop. I realized in that moment that I was male enough. That even if I went on hormones I would still be me which means it's ME that is male not the hormones. I saw the future because I realized I was already living it.

(They/Them/Theirs, He/Him/His)

For me, it was starting testosterone. I hadn't imagined I could "successfully pull off" being a trans man out in the real world because everyone would be able to tell I was "faking it." Listening to my own voice drop over the next few months was a huge game-changer. My personal style changed and evolved, I grew to love my voice, and I felt joy in my body for the first time ever.

(He/Him/His, They/Them/Theirs)

Honestly, I didn’t realize it at the time, but it was in Elementary school when I would pretend to be Sam, because Sam could be anyone, and to me that meant I could be the nonbinary boy I didn’t get to be in regular life. It was my opportunity to imagine a world where I could be trans without knowing that’s what I was doing.

(He/Him/His, They/Them/Theirs)

I met this amazing singer, Lucas, and became obsessed with his videos. Videos of times before his transition, during his transition (before his voice changed), and after. And I could just not get him out of my mind. I thought, if he can do it, I can do it.

When I was 19 and met a transitioned trans man for the first time in my life.

(He/Him/His, They/Them/Theirs)

In 2015, I met someone who was in the process of transitioning. He had just started, and answered a lot of the questions I had. I had questioned my gender before that, and was already out as nonbinary, but once I met my friend, I asked "Wow I can do that too? I can be who I really am on the inside?" In 2017, I re-came out as a trans man, started transitioning, and feeling more comfortable in my body. This is when I could see my future as a trans man. This is when I realized "I don't have to live as the wrong gender anymore".

(He/Him/His, They/Them/Theirs)

I struggled with seeing my own face as that of a man for the better part of two years after coming out; for a long time, I could only see a woman and I eventually reached a point where my face in the mirror just looked like a nondescript person to me.

One day, my partner gave me a hug and I happened to be facing a small mirror on the wall. There, hugging my partner with a big grin on my face, was the first time I looked up and saw a man in the mirror. It was the first time that I felt like my transition was really going somewhere.

Being able to see myself as a man has filled in some of the blank spots in my future. It is easier to imagine a life moving forward when I feel like myself in my own dreams.

When I realized I was trans I didn't know what trans was. I remember being on a family vacation in Italy in 2016 at age 15 and seeing myself in the reflection of shop windows. I used to only wear skinny jeans but because it was supposed to be really hot I wore boy's cargo shorts. I also wore a backwards baseball cap I bought in Rome. Seeing myself in the windows I perceived myself as male and realized how much more comfortable I felt. I also saw other boys my age during the trip and thought I could look like that . When I got home I found out that other people felt how I did too and began chest binding and changing my style to look more masculine.

My first college class that I entered, out as a man but not legally so, and gave the professor my name, and she took it in perfect stride. I thought to myself that maybe things were going to be okay- and here they are!

When I was in high school there was only one trans person a trans man. He was a grade older than me but I was lucky enough to take a psych class that he was in. I knew he existed but all I knew about him was what others would say. I knew his dead name more than I knew his name but once I learned his name the memory faded quickly. I was so shy and awkward in that early stage where you're not out to anyone but you know internally what the future holds. I wasn't doing well at that point but seeing him in class gave me a future to head towards. Looking back I think he could tell that we were alike I just hadn't found my voice yet. He always had a hard shell that I soon developed but was beyond kind to me. He was the 1st in a line of trans elders who helped me see that when I was ready there were mentors who would help me find myself. I came out as a teenager because I knew if I did I would be okay just like he was. I knew that trans people especially men existed and if I lost everything by revealing my truth I wouldn't be alone.

(He/Him/His, They/Them/Theirs)

The first few years I was in community with other trans folks and working out my own gender identity most of the transmasc narratives I encountered came out of Black or white contexts. While I felt inspired and had many resonances with these stories 'being a man' was presented in a fairly binary way that wasn't consistent with my experience and couldn't quite be mapped neatly onto my ethnicities. It wasn't until I saw a documentary film called Kumu Hina in 2014 that tells the story of Hina Wong-Kalu a native Hawaiian teacher and cultural practitioner who is māhū a word that translates to "middle" that I began to believe that there was a culturally specific and possible path for me to realize and embrace manhood. It would take a few more years to identify the ways I wanted to embody that but learning about Hina's story and her work was certainly a watershed moment in 'becoming' for me.

(They/Them/Theirs, He/Him/His)

The first time I knew I was going to be ok as a trans man was when I came out to friends in high school, and they supported me.

(He/Him/His, They/Them/Theirs)

I began to explore understanding how to feel more present in my body on a day to day basis.

As a young teen, I started to figure out something wasn't right, but I couldn't figure out what. At 20, I figured out something wasn't wrong... I just hadn't figured out what was right for me yet. I followed trans creators but never realized that that could be me, too; that there was no difference between us. I saw myself then as being a man in the future.

When I first realized I was a trans man, I was a sophomore in highschool. I grew up in the South so acceptance was somewhat hard to come by. As I was coming to terms with what my transition meant to me, I distinctly remember having a dream where I was a few years older and just recently had top surgery. The gender euphoria I felt when I looked in the mirror in that dream and saw the bandages over a flat chest was indescribable. In that moment, I knew it was possible for me to live a healthy, genuine life as myself and as a trans man. I haven't looked back since!

I was closeted still and attending college. I had a biology-related course where my professor was transgender. My professor was the first openly transgender person I had met in my life. They had transitioned a little later in life but had continued onwards holding a wonderful career and genuinely just being an excellent mentor and teacher. It was a slow realization over the course of the two semesters I attended their class but I began truly making plans for my future instead of assuming I would succumb to my fairly serious depression and other mental health issues. It all finally became clear to me when I had transferred to a university and I decided to cut my hair and wear a binder for the first time. I put on my favorite shirt and cried when I finally saw myself and that I was going to make it.

When I first did all of my research and realized that I am a trans man.

For me it wasn't a grand event. I believe I was in the 6th grade at the time so I was no older than 13. All I remember is talking with an online friend over Skype who explained that they were transgender and told me about what that was like. As I was listening to them I realized that I was too and accepted it instantly. I've been identifying as male ever since and was always excited at the prospect of becoming a transman. I still haven't begun transitioning but I look forward to it every day.

I went to an all-women's college for undergrad. During those four years, my masculine identity was cultivated and nurtured by a community of queer women. Leaving college, I found myself having to make concessions for my masculinity in a female presenting body. I'd gone four years without having to explain my masculinity to others. It just was. But I had to live in this world, in this life of constant contradiction between who I saw myself to be and who the world wanted me to be. Transitioning both physically and emotionally, allowed me to take a strong, life long stand to maintain and continue to grow in my masculine identity. Now, it's no question. I'm a masculine transman and society has to grabble with that, not me.

The first time I ever imagined having a future as a transgender man was actually the first moment I witnessed my mother imagining that future for me. She had really struggled with my coming outshe was convinced that I was making a choice that would prevent me from having a future at all. Then she came to visit me while I was in performing arts school. I had transitioned while in school and was living as a man for the first time in my life. Everyone in the school community knew and respected my identity as both trans and a man. I was performing in Beauty and the Beast and my mother was in the audience. After we took our final bows and changed into our street clothes my peers and teachers and I (all of whom were in the show) poured out of the stage doors. We were riding the adrenaline high of completing a successful performance and were all giddy with excitement. I saw my mom in the crowd and quickly introduced her to my school community. Other students and our instructors all gushed to my mom telling them what a great performer and man I was. We all love having him in class, one of my teachers told her. "You must be so proud." I've asked her about this moment and she doesn't remember it. But I saw a profound shift in her eyes right then. It was like she could finally see a future for me that wasn't isolated or dangerousit was bold and bright and full of love and happiness and community. I've worked so hard to live up to that future she saw in that moment and I think I've succeeded.

I was 18, just shy of a month away from graduating high school. I had been out as trans for about 2 years at this point. I was feeling a lot of things…hopeful, hopeless, worried, brave, careless. I struggled to accept my identity and cope with discrimination. I was a scared kid – 18, but still a kid. My therapist was helping me juggle all the conflicting emotions and to make sense of it all. I knew that I wanted to start T. We located an LGBTQ+ clinic about 2 hours away where I could be evaluated for HRT; something I wanted so badly.

A few weeks later, I was on a train heading into the city for my first appointment, and to my first HRT prescription. I remembered feeling anxious, then overwhelmed with hope and excitement for the first time in a very long, long time. I pictured my future self; what would he look like? Would he have a beard? A gruff voice? Would a change of name come next, or perhaps a look into top surgery? The possibilities finally felt endless. I could see the future; my future as a happy, resilient, transgender man, and I wasn’t scared anymore.

It was following an interaction with a stranger on an elevator my second year on testosterone. We rode up 26 floors in silence. As I was exiting the elevator he said take it easy, brother. It struck me in that moment that I was for all intents and purposes just a dude which felt exceedingly validating.

2016 when I finally understood why my relationships didn't make sense to me, and I met a trans man who helped me see the value and potential of living suthentucslly

I didn't realize I was trans until I was around college age I didn't have the language prior to know that was a possibility. But I started slow as a young adult with changing my name changing my pronouns and my friends all supported me 100%. But it solidified for me when I went to the trans wellness conference in Philadelphia and saw so many different types of people all exisiting and in an affirming envornment. It really confirmed that I could have this life if I took the first steps.

(He/Him/His, They/Them/Theirs)

I was so uncomfortable in my own skin for 25 years before I figured it out. Why did I always want to be a boy? I was in the military for a short time before a foot injury led to being discharged, but I'm thankful for that experience because I met the person who helped me kick-start my coming out and transitioning. I saw him taking the steps to become his authentic self, and it was then I realized that I could do the same. So I took the first step. This was almost 7 years ago now. Don't give up.

When I bought my first binder and could somewhat minimize the "chest of doom." I was overjoyed at seeing that version of myself in the mirror.

(He/Him/His, They/Them/Theirs)

When I started joining online transmasc spaces, I started seeing these older transmascs/trans men in their forties, fifties, sixties — there was one man who had started T at 63, I think, and it brought tears to my eyes to know I could grow up to be the old man I dreamed of.

I knew I was different as a kid but I never saw my future as a trans man until I was 30 y/o and I decided to escape my abusive marriage and live my truth.

(He/Him/His, They/Them/Theirs)

My first major opportunity transgender artist was at LA Pride and surpassed anything I had experienced before. Previously, I had only performed at small clubs, so playing to such a massive crowd was a completely new and exhilarating experience. As I stood on stage, I witnessed people genuinely connecting with the music I had crafted in my bedroom and the dance routine we had practiced in a parking lot. In that transformative moment, I realized that I wanted to aspire for more, not just for myself but for all trans masculine individuals. I understood the importance of breaking free from limiting beliefs and recognizing that we are capable of achieving remarkable things.

When I saw the logo I had created displayed on a gigantic 20 ft screen, memories of my childhood flooded my mind. I recalled the pain and struggles I endured during that period of my life. Reflecting on those challenging moments, I wished I could have shared with my younger self the incredible progress that has been made since then. In the past, we walked in darkness without any representation in the mainstream. But now, there are opportunities and visibility for individuals like us that we could only dream of back then.

This question is wild because before I transitioned to live authentically I legitimately never had a vision of my future self. Once I was about two years into my medical transition I saw myself in the mirror and the world stopped for a moment because I felt a wave of alignment and peace take over me. Now I'm teaching myself that I can have whatever future I create and I'm not limited to loneliness.

Jess VonderHaar

(They/Them/Theirs, He/Him/His)

Growing up, I remember having girl crushes long before I even knew what gay was. I’d often play the “man role” when friends and I would play “house.” As time went on, a problem was presented. I would have crushes on girls who had crushes on boys. I was confused! Why couldn’t they like me? Why were they only attracted to boys? Around 2nd grade, I would have dreams of girl I was crushing on, except in my dreams, I was able to present like a boy! I would get the girl, wake up, only to face the music. Even though I wouldn’t find testosterone until much later on in life, I’ll never forget how I’ve always felt from day one. I didn’t know a life like the one I have was possible, until I saw a Trans Man/ Trans Masc human for the first time.

The first moment I could see my future as a trans man was as a kid running around the house shirtless and being told I must wear a shirt. I still feel that joy and freedom of being shirtless to this day.

I think the first moment I could see my future as a transman is an expansive question. Maybe, it could have been my first interaction with a fellow queer person, the first name I picked, my first trans rights rally, or my first T shot. All have left different and expansive feelings. But, they all gave me hope that I was being me again.

The first moment I saw myself as a trans man is when I saw The Phantom from Phantom of the opera. He described my bipolar and schizophrenia so well. I named myself after him. Erik is alive.

(He/Him/His, They/Them/Theirs)

The first moment I could see my future as a trans man was when I met an openly trans man for the first time in my twenties. Here was someone who was just living his life and who happened to be a trans man. I remember feeling so hopeful in that moment. Years later I am still grateful for that brief encounter because it ultimately helped me to find the strength to transition.

When I was in high school, I discovered various trans Youtubers like Ty Turner and Sam Collins who opened my mind to the fact that transitioning was possible.

If I had known at the time I was supposed to remember it I would have.

I worked as a teacher at a queer camp and felt so much possibility from the youth I was working with - it allowed me to stop telling myself no and envision a life of expansion.

It was when I met other trans men in Yahoo! groups 15 years ago. I thought I was the only one on the planet then I met hundreds of other trans men. Community and representation saved my life.

I first saw my future as a trans man when watching videos of a Greek composer named "Yianni" in the 1990s. I liked the way Yianni dressed and I wanted to be like him when I grew up. As the years went by, I also looked to the trans men I saw featured in OP Magazine as role models for my transition.

(They/Them/Theirs, He/Him/His)

The moment was when I saw a teen cosmo magazine cover where it said “ I used to be a girl “ and the person on the cover had began their transition, their name was lace and I had to contact this person no matter what, and I did, this was when I first heard the term “transgender “ and lace was kind enough to guide me through the steps i needed to take to get where they were at that moment. I grew up with a lot of challenges and setbacks, but as soon as I began to address my needs the desire to be numb and escape slowly subsided.

(He/Him/His, They/Them/Theirs)

I knew I could envision transitioning the first day I wore a chest binder.

The first moment I could see my future as a transman I was 17 and had gone to my first LGBTQ center. I remember my best friend coming with me and asking all of the questions I was afraid to ask. I had never had anyone affirm the feelings I had and help me to understand what my trans identity truly was until that day. Having my best friend there for support really gave me the confidence I needed to fully live in my truth.

I had a buddy of mine over dinner casually say "yeah I think you're trans". I had never even thought that was a possibility. I knew I didn't feel female. But I didn't know I could be a male.

I hadn't even told anyone that I was starting to think that I was trans at 21 years old. I went to an American Eagle outlet store and dared to grab two t-shirts and two pairs of jeans from the guy's section--my first time ever being brave enough to shop on the other side of the store. When I tried them on in the dressing room and saw myself in the mirror dressed as a boy for the first time it was like years of crushing depression and angst just floated away--I didn't see a specific future for myself but I did finally see the potential to have a future.

i was 13 when i realized i was trans. i did not come out to family, i was outed when i was 15. my maternal grandfather told me he'd always support me no matter what, even if the rest of the family didn't (luckily, it was only my mother and father who didn't). that one act of support made me hopeful. he took me shopping for men's clothes that winter when he visited. it really meant a lot to me.

Finding out that trans people existed.

When I was coming out I wasn't sure there would be a future for me as a trans man. I remember seeing Original Plumbing magazine and seeing Rocco and Amos and realizing that I may be able to live a happy successful life and make a difference simply by living my truth. Exposure to Kylar Broadus Jamison Green Shannon Minter and Lou Sullivan gave me a new perspective and showed me that it was possible to have a future as a trans man.

His name was Steve Dain. It was 1976. He was on television being interviewed about fighting to keep his teaching job because he had transitioned from female to male. The year prior he had been named California's Teacher of the Year. But he was calm self-confident articulate and so clear about who he was as a man. And at that moment I knew it was possible: I too could become the man I knew I was.

(He/Him/His, They/Them/Theirs)

The first time I could see my future as trans was when I was a young kid on the playground and then my early twenties. I didn't transition until my mid twenties.

(He/Him/His, They/Them/Theirs)

Before bed one night when I was cat-sitting for a friend and was alone in their apartment, I connected to my higher self. I shared with them that I was in a space where I could start healing. I requested content withheld from me (traumas, discoveries, learnings) to please be revealed, so I could start working with it.

I went to bed as a nonbinary person. I woke up the next day with some stark realizations, realizations that my gender was FAR more masculine than I had been aware of until this point.

I suddenly realized I needed to consider getting top surgery, look up the process for changing my name (I had a feminine-presenting name at the time), add he/him to my pronouns, and that as soon as I got home I needed to donate some clothing that no longer represented me.

It became clear that if I was going to be true to myself and progress spiritually, I needed to make some uncomfortable decisions that my family and friends might not initially understand- in order to become visibly transmasculine.

I was complimented as a female and didn’t like being called/seen in a feminine way

I was in the shower when I realized I don't have to be a woman if I don't want to. I started my gender journey and down the road, my two best friends (one a trans woman and one a cis man) started using "he" pronouns before I even thought about it. I thought "Hmmm, I like that."

The first time I passed in public even when I wasn't binding. It was like, "holy shit, I am Man!!!!" Suddenly I could see myself as who I was in my career, with my found family, and eventually growing old into some ornery grandpa for queer kids who, like me, don't have contact with their family of origin.

Going from an all women's college to a co-ed college.

I didn't know when this incident happened that transitioning to male was an option. It took 9 years before I found that out. But I was leaving a fast food place with my brother and I held a door open for an older gentleman and he said "thank you sir". And that just made me smile so much. I thought about that moment for years. 9 years later I helped my then partner transition and that's when all these repressed feelings came out and when I found out that being a man was possible.

When I started testosterone.

I was 3 years old when I knew I was different. I had an old brother and 3 old cousin. I looked up to them and my dad so much. I wanted to me strong like them, look like them. I felt like my body wasn't right. I came out as a lesbian at 13 and was out with my family. At age 22 I went to a local bar in little rock arkansas and I met a trans drag king abs Hart and he changed my world. I got to see first hand I could live my authentic life. So I took my own leap of faith, came out as trans to my family and made everything happen for me with amazing family support.

Even though I came out in highschool, I truly saw my future when I was able to get on t-shots. Medically transitioning had a lot of bumps for me, and getting to finally see the changes I wanted to see was euphoric. It really helped me envision what the rest of my life would look like, where I could be seen how I am.

Ovaettr AKA Orion Fern

(Xe/Xem/Xyr, They/Them/Theirs, He/Him/His)

When I found the first things mentioning nonbinary gender(s) and/or lack thereof on Tumblr in 2010, and learned, being educated by the community who generously shared so much. I finally found people who had the same experiences as me and were at odds with "being a girl/woman." I wasn't alone? And it had an explanation. I found myself in those blog posts, shimmering like a mirror to a future I could finally behold. I came out to myself in 2012, and out to the public in 2014 as a genderqueer trans masculine person / nonbinary before finding i was also a trans man by around 2016.

(They/Them/Theirs, He/Him/His)

The first time I saw a future for me as a trans man was when I met a real trans adult. This transmasc person became like a father to me and he was pivotal to when my life was revitalized after starting my journey with gender affirming care. Trans visibility is core to trans futures.

I went to a camp where you could choose a nickname to go by for the week. I chose a guy name, everyone called me by it, and that was the first time I thought “maybe I could really do this”.

My local community has supported me through both social and medical transition since I came out at 14. Not long after starting HRT, my endocrinologist informed me that she was being transferred out of state. Turns out she was going to the same city where I was moving for college! I was grateful to continue care with her. Now that I have moved back to my home state, she has helped me find doctors around me to ensure I continue to get the care I need as an adult trans person.

I never saw my future as a trans man. I saw my future as a man.

When I first left my home country where it's a criminal offense to be queer/trans with more emerging bills limiting our existence & presentation.

I had a conversation with my partner.

I first saw my future as a trans man when I met a trans man in person who was a few years older than me. I transitioned before social media in 2008/2009. I didn't even really know there were people who felt like me out there. When I was introduced to a 20-something trans man who had a girlfriend, a good job, lived in his own apartment it opened my eyes to understanding that I could be happy, I could be successful and I could be loved as the trans man I am.

(They/Them/Theirs, He/Him/His)

My high school English teacher assigned my class an article about Rocco Kayiatos who went by Katastrophe at the time. I didn’t have language for my transness yet, I wasn’t even out to myself as trans. But something about my teacher seeing something beautiful and valuable in Rocco helped me see it in myself as a young queer person. Rocco and I met later on in college and we’re still in touch to this day. His existence and survival has been a rare glimmer of what my future could look like and I’m grateful to be aging alongside him.

There was no representation for trans men in my life until 10 years ago or so. As a child I never saw my life as any role that pertains to most cisgender females. As a child I viewed myself as male. It wasn't until I discovered a trans men community on YouTube. I relayed to most of the stories. I used to believe this ideology that I'm trapped in the wrong body. However as of late I realized I was born transgender. There was no trauma related incident or experience that has led me to this point this is who I've always been.

(He/Him/His, They/Them/Theirs)

I had a session with my healer who had me go DEEP. She shared with me that as young as the third trimester in the womb of my mother I made the choice to be born female at birth to become a trans non-binary man. That's when I knew the truth. Before that I was going back and forth and denying or doubting. From that moment onwards when I connected to the fetus version of myself I knew for sure I am a non-binary trans man.

I've always had a really low voice, baritone. Long before I did drag, I did community theater. One play, they needed another male part and chose me because they didn't have any available men to perform. I bound my chest, glued on a mustache along with my usual stage make up and left for the play. I had to stop at Walmart to pick something up and the lady at the cash register said, "Thank you sir." It felt so good to hear that word, "sir." I could actually see myself someday, making it there.

It was the decision to leap into the unknown of it all. That was the first moment I chose myself and that choice was also about choosing to chart my own future. I saw something out there that wasn’t necessarily clearly defined but it was more in focus than anything I’d seen for myself before.

The first time I verbalized I was a man was at the age of 4 and I expressed it to my family. I decided to go for it in my late 30's.

(He/Him/His, Any pronouns)

I like to say that I transitioned before Laverne Cox was on the cover of TIME magazine, and before Caitlyn made her Vogue cover-- in other words, before the Trans Tipping Point. (=And let's just say it: the transmasculine tipping point hasn't happened yet.) I was fortunate enough to meet two trans men in an activist group (helping Survivors of Sexualized Violence) and, through their openness and vulnerability, I was able to envision a path for myself.

I googled if it was possible for a female to become a male in 2011 and found a YouTube video of a famous trans man and that's when I realized it was possible for me.

(He/Him/His, They/Them/Theirs)

When I got my first binder when I was 19. I went off to college and could finally express myself without the judgment from my family.

(He/Him/His, They/Them/Theirs)

The first time I saw my future as a trans man was the first time I saw a future for myself at all. I was a pre teen early 2010's and I saw a video from the first ever trans man I'd ever seen. He was a cosplayer in a fandom I was a part of and he was so excited to start hormones. Not only was it the first trans person I knew I'd seen but it was the first person who was an adult who was living a life I wanted.

(He/Him/His, They/Them/Theirs)

I was on a run around the Silver Lake Reservoir. I was so shaken by a realization that I had to stop. I realized in that moment that I was male enough. That even if I went on hormones I would still be me which means it's ME that is male not the hormones. I saw the future because I realized I was already living it.

(They/Them/Theirs, He/Him/His)

For me, it was starting testosterone. I hadn't imagined I could "successfully pull off" being a trans man out in the real world because everyone would be able to tell I was "faking it." Listening to my own voice drop over the next few months was a huge game-changer. My personal style changed and evolved, I grew to love my voice, and I felt joy in my body for the first time ever.

(He/Him/His, They/Them/Theirs)

Honestly, I didn’t realize it at the time, but it was in Elementary school when I would pretend to be Sam, because Sam could be anyone, and to me that meant I could be the nonbinary boy I didn’t get to be in regular life. It was my opportunity to imagine a world where I could be trans without knowing that’s what I was doing.

(He/Him/His, They/Them/Theirs)

I met this amazing singer, Lucas, and became obsessed with his videos. Videos of times before his transition, during his transition (before his voice changed), and after. And I could just not get him out of my mind. I thought, if he can do it, I can do it.

When I was 19 and met a transitioned trans man for the first time in my life.

(He/Him/His, They/Them/Theirs)

In 2015, I met someone who was in the process of transitioning. He had just started, and answered a lot of the questions I had. I had questioned my gender before that, and was already out as nonbinary, but once I met my friend, I asked "Wow I can do that too? I can be who I really am on the inside?" In 2017, I re-came out as a trans man, started transitioning, and feeling more comfortable in my body. This is when I could see my future as a trans man. This is when I realized "I don't have to live as the wrong gender anymore".

(He/Him/His, They/Them/Theirs)

I struggled with seeing my own face as that of a man for the better part of two years after coming out; for a long time, I could only see a woman and I eventually reached a point where my face in the mirror just looked like a nondescript person to me.

One day, my partner gave me a hug and I happened to be facing a small mirror on the wall. There, hugging my partner with a big grin on my face, was the first time I looked up and saw a man in the mirror. It was the first time that I felt like my transition was really going somewhere.

Being able to see myself as a man has filled in some of the blank spots in my future. It is easier to imagine a life moving forward when I feel like myself in my own dreams.

When I realized I was trans I didn't know what trans was. I remember being on a family vacation in Italy in 2016 at age 15 and seeing myself in the reflection of shop windows. I used to only wear skinny jeans but because it was supposed to be really hot I wore boy's cargo shorts. I also wore a backwards baseball cap I bought in Rome. Seeing myself in the windows I perceived myself as male and realized how much more comfortable I felt. I also saw other boys my age during the trip and thought I could look like that . When I got home I found out that other people felt how I did too and began chest binding and changing my style to look more masculine.

My first college class that I entered, out as a man but not legally so, and gave the professor my name, and she took it in perfect stride. I thought to myself that maybe things were going to be okay- and here they are!

When I was in high school there was only one trans person a trans man. He was a grade older than me but I was lucky enough to take a psych class that he was in. I knew he existed but all I knew about him was what others would say. I knew his dead name more than I knew his name but once I learned his name the memory faded quickly. I was so shy and awkward in that early stage where you're not out to anyone but you know internally what the future holds. I wasn't doing well at that point but seeing him in class gave me a future to head towards. Looking back I think he could tell that we were alike I just hadn't found my voice yet. He always had a hard shell that I soon developed but was beyond kind to me. He was the 1st in a line of trans elders who helped me see that when I was ready there were mentors who would help me find myself. I came out as a teenager because I knew if I did I would be okay just like he was. I knew that trans people especially men existed and if I lost everything by revealing my truth I wouldn't be alone.

Character drawings by Joey Borrelli.

Haz clic aquí para cambiar a español.